Putting Girls To Werk! 

Hey there. 

So yesterday was International women’s day and I spent it with one of my most beautiful female friends. We spent the entire day watching reruns of RuPaul’s drag race. Why, you may ask? Because nothing makes one feel so feminine than watching several beautiful, fancy drag queens work their way down a runway and that is work with an E. 

We did this so I could conserve my energy because later on in Portsmouth I took part in talks to support the Reclaim The Night movement; started in response to sexual assault and attacks on women in the street who are then blamed for being too drunk, too scantily clad or generally too female for a man to resist raping or abusing her.

RuPaul’s drag race is a celebration of femininity, the female form and challenging gender norms. In response to that my friend allowed me to make her the most draggiest of drag I have ever done with make up. There was nothing much in the thought process. I simply told her to close her eyes and let me work my magic. And her mother absolutely hated it. But she absolutely loved it and that’s what mattered. She felt glamorous, she felt gorgeous, she felt beautiful, she felt powerful.

  

That’s the thing about appearance; when we think of women dressing up we think of us looking at them and we think of how we appreciate how they look rather than thinking about how they feel about how they look. This is the crux of the society that has created a theatre out of a woman’s appearance. Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Look, Now, Americas next top model, The Voice. These shows and magazines pride themselves on playing on people’s appearance in contrast to who they are. 

The first thing I asked the woman because I’ve never done the guys make up yet is what they want me to create and most of the time they will say just do what ever. And I have a problem with that because how I want them to look is not how they feel it’s not who they are it’s not what they want. That would be me creating what I want. And that can change from day to day. That is an accurate representation of how they feel about themselves. 
Obviously I’m a beauty blogger so I’m not exactly a massive advocate of conventional “natural beauty”; but I am an advocate for personal beauty. There is no point in making up a face if the brain behind it can’t carry the look. 

My friend is a drag queen. She is gorgeous, she is sassy, she is charismatic, and she is strong in the face of adversity in a world that would otherwise shun her; so I gave her a delicious pink and yellow look like strawberry lemonade so she could make the world eat it and … we didn’t even leave the house because it ain’t about them out there.

So the next time I’m doing your make up think about the face that you wanna put out to the world, think about who you are, think about what you wanna be on that day. Don’t be confined by the constraints pushed upon you by other people’s interpretations- glitter roots, gradient brows, tape contouring, mink lashes. If you wanna wear bright blue eyeshadow and a neon pink lip because you wholeheartedly believe that the 80s ain’t dead; tell me and I’ll do it. In a dark ass world painted grey, be a girl on fire! 
See you anon! 

Kisses Like Sugar! 

You recall the bubblegum from Venus Lush lipstick Passion that I reviewed a while ago? Well here’s something to get your sweet tooth aching even more! From the people that brought you the shade of choice of the triple breasted hooker in Total Recall, I bring you some more lip goodies that will have you licking your lips so vigorously and salaciously that no Martian…Venution? Alien! That no alien will be able to resist!

Lush Cosmetics released their Valentines Day lip bits just in time for the weather in Portsmouth to turn a teensy bit more frightful (I’m from Scotland; I have no idea why people are so bundled up…isn’t it still summer!?). My lips respond to this minor change in temperature by drying up like the harsh, cratered surface of an unterraformed planet. Not to be caught off guard by such things, I nabbed some stuff to beat the cracks into submission and ensure my smooch-pillows stayed as snoggable as possible (yes…I just called my lips smooch-pillows…I have gotten over the embarrassment of that and so should you!).

 

Ooft…ain’t no kisses happening here!

I nabbed The Kiss lip scrub made by Tomek, your friendly neighbourhood Lush buddy:
A combination of caster sugar, sea salt and cocoa butter with red edible hearts and a pink “glimmer lustre” (I didn’t really see that part personally but there was a little pink tint to my pasty wasteland smackers after application!) It contains Sicilian mandarin and almond essential oils and smells and tastes like strawberry fricken candyfloss! Yummy!

I’m skeptical of the purpose of the edible hearts other than the fact they are super duper cute!  The scrub is gentle and sort of tickles, I like to apply it to my lips with my ring finger and rub it across the skin in circular motions with the tip until I can’t resist just sticking out my moist tongue and tasting…this is beginning to sound a bit too erotic. I have very sensitive lips; remember that time I made us both feel uncomfortable when I called them “smooch-pillows”? Ha! Yeah! That was…mortifying…but it shows you how delicate they are! It’s just not an abrasive scrub. I’m not sure if it was because I needed to put it on again or because I loved the sensation but it certainly didn’t do my lips any damage to reapply! And that time I rubbed my lips together instead of using my finger and pouted like a living sour patch kid, before lapping it off like a happy space puppy! The Panda watched; The Panda was bemused.

Thanks to the cocoa butter and essential oils there wasn’t much need for any further products…but I wanted to apply some anyway! Plus they were still a tad on the super dry side after the very awkward and lopsided 3 mile walk The Panda and I took! So I popped on some Buttered Brazils lip balm lovingly created by Shida which contains Brazil nut butter, obviously, but also dark chocolate of all things! Yummy! AGAIN!

 

It’s got a grainy texture at first and then rubs in to being super moisturising without being sticky!

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Totally smoochable smooch-pillows!

It wasn’t necessary but I shoved on this Body Shop Born Lippy Balm in strawberry (a common purchase for the last 13 years or so because it literally tastes like strawberry laces) to give my lips a little more of a rosey glow!

Behold! My newly terraformed, plump peckables are all luscious and ready for any thing! Like my Plum-Plum Girl Rouge Velour from Bourjois!

 

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I think I’ve used so many food themed products on my lips that you could literally eat my lips! I’m off to find me a xenomorph egg, get me a facehugger!

Yeah… that’s the xenomorph queen getting off with an MIB agent…this stuff exists, don’t ask me where I find it (look at the link) but this actually exists!

I Think She’s a Pippa Ever So Pink!

Oh my dearest spoonie gods…you torment me with ailments that I must sleep through like the dead and then raise me up like a zombie! I look like one, I smell like one and, given my appetite, I proceeded to eat like one with fury and gnashing teeth! Omnomnomnom! I have passed my waking time watching BBC dramatized versions of The Chronicles of Narnia from the late 80’s and much stroking of the catten!

Yesterday I managed to get out and about to do a spot of shopping! It was fantastic! People, fresh air, being upright. Never underestimate the ability of small things to make one feel alive! I took a saunter into Lush for a wee scout around thinking I would do a wee expo on how to make your lips look fantastic in winter! Myskin has been a bit greasy so my lips haven’t needed much tlc so my best of intentions turned into a bit of a swatching session!

A swatching of this.

This. THIS. Let us talk about this colour for a second. I can’t even…it’s like pink bubblegum from Venus; look at the cool toned shimmer! It’s Passionate. Made by the loving hands of Bianca and 50% off at Lush. Who am I to say no? I was close when I saw the use by date of October THIS YEAR!

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But what the hey! I love you guys, I love make-up…I have just got to dedicate myself to this colour for the next few months! So I said yes! Yes yes yes! It smells waxy, for lack of a better word. It’s all product and no perfume which I like because I know the pigment isn’t diluted by trying to make the product smell like a bed of roses. That’s what the other shiz I bought is for…but more on that another time!

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The applicator is one of those sponge tips which is perfect for thesmooth formula to glide on! The weird non-functional dropper-top thing came off mine which is good because the wider rim made application a like a game of hide and seek with my Cupid’s bow, but was bad in the way that the applicator was the size of my pinky finger…

AN APPLICATOR FOR ANTS?!

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My T-Swizzles meant that using this made for a lot of resting and wrist pain! Ain’t no body got time for that! So I think next time I will switch to using one of my make-up brushes. Also… can we talk about product gains? I felt I had to dip-double dip- triple dip to get a decent amount of product on the applicator! I see me taking out that infuriating stopper and decanting the whole thing into a pot because you really can’t get enough on the damn stick!

The beautiful and chipper sales assistant described it as a stain. But it was so moisturising on application (seriously, like room temp butter on bread) that I didn’t really get the feel of a stain? The coverage was smooth and I doubled up the layers to get a stronger payoff and then waited….and waited…and waited for this stain effect. Then I got bored and wanted to drink something so I blotted it twice. BOOM!

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It’s a matte liquid lipstick; colour me surprised…and pink. We discussed the pink didn’t we? Let’s die a little bit more over it shall we? Truly put a nail in the coffin?

Yup! Ready yourself St Peter, I’m coming up fabulous and ready to repent! Unsurprisingly this came off super easy with soap and water and no scrubbing! But it stuck on through a whole session of yoga and a pint of smoothie! And it didn’t make my lips into two slabs petrified wood! So aside from the applicator being the size of a baby’s finger and the stingy amount you get from one dip in the bottle, Lush have nailed a liquid lipstick!

I. Am. In. Love!